Every day is a collection of moments. Each week, each month and each year they become our memories.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Let’s pretend it’s Saturday


Today is a Thursday that feels like a weekend to me.  Yesterday I worked in our booth near the State Fair during the afternoon / evening.   Aside from the great people watching and near brush with fame when Gene Simmons’ Tour Bus drove by, all I accomplished was coming home slightly sunburned and extremely dirty.    (I literally had dirt under every single one of my finger nails).      This morning Steve is working the booth, so I am home with the baby and NO WORK PHONE.   Which I love because it feels like a day off.  Which is why it feels like a Saturday.

You may or may not know this about me, but I am an insane list maker.  On weekends, or days like feel like weekends, I  make ridiculous lists while I enjoy my morning coffee.   With Tessie at my side I make these lists out loud and they seem even more ridiculous when spoken, but I do it anyway.  For example, today my list items include:

  • enjoy morning coffee
  • play with Tessie
  • make food for Steve to take to Fair this weekend
  • go to the office, do all that work, blah blah blah

Of course I  have distracted myself already and found this recipe for mini pumpkin muffins on Pinterest.   While the muffins are baking I am blogging and already the baby is awake.  Or did she ever fall asleep?  Such a mystery.   That girl talks non stop.  I go to check out what all the noise is about and attempt a video of her but she is on to my tricks.   I am so busted.

Meanwhile, the muffins are done.  They are DELICIOUS.   No surprise, because the dry ingredients smelled amazing when I was mixing it up.  The topping is totally not needed, but I am a sucker for anything with cinnamon and sugar on top of it so I did it.   Here is the recipe. 


This reminds me.  Emily, thanks for letting me borrow your mini muffin pan 2 years ago. 


Sunday, August 26, 2012


My favorite thing to do... yet the hardest thing for me to accomplish.   Why is that?

I had planned to work the event today and leave Steve home with Tessie.  This would give him a break, an opportunity to lay low and plan for the week as needed, and of course, to spend time with our peanut.    I was excited to hang outside on a slow day and have a break of my own from the routine of child care.


I hadn't really considered where I would need to pump, if there was enough milk here for her, etc.   Plus, Steve had a great day out there yesterday and wanted to go back.  So I sent him out the door with no real breakfast, and no food packed for him to eat all day.  Somehow, I have failed to plan any food for him, and we are out of eggs and cereal.   How does that happen??   How does a girl who loves to plan and loves to cook and is desperate almost every second to make things easier for Steve not do that?  

Pinterest has to be the answer, right?   We have another 10 days of goofy schedules while we work the Fair.    Our lives are goofy schedules anyway...  never really home at a mealtime and always searching for a fast food alternative.    Today I will figure it out.   This is my project.   I will discover quick breakfast on the go options,  healthy snacks, and meal options that can be packed.   I will finally create a "snack drawer" in our kitchen that will become our go to place for something fast.    I will once again embrace the crock pot for dinners that can be started early and then ready at 2 or 3 or 6 or 8...   whenever dinner actually happens.  

I really enjoy cooking.  I love eating real food.   Planning ahead makes me happy.   A day off with virtually no interruptions is bliss.   Combining all four elements sounds perfect.  

Welcome to my Sunday.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Let’s try this again…

Sometimes Tessie wakes up at 5:30.  On those days I feed her and then we go straight back to bed.   We indulge in bringing her into our bed with us so we can all have a bit of snuggle time before starting the day.   Other days, like today Tessie and I got up at 6.  Somehow that extra half hour makes it seem like morning.   I feed her, she plays a bit, and then by 7 she goes back to sleep so I get a precious quiet bit of time before the crazy of the day starts.   I get to enjoy my coffee,  check out the latest on Pinterest,  see what’s going on on Facebook, and blog a little.    My mind gets to enjoy the slow wake up process without any additional demands being placed on it.   Then I can shower and actually start my work day.

Some days, like yesterday, I feel like I am being dragged through the day.   Not counting actual phone calls and emails from customers, I was interrupted 20 different times in an 8 hour period. (yes – when I realized how agitated I was I counted).   And that was completely separate from taking care of Tessie or talking to my sisters.   So I woke up feeling like I was going to get certain things done in the office and then every time I attempted to start doing even one of those things I was interrupted.  If I had just started the day yesterday with the assumption that my only job was to react to whatever unplanned thing popped up, I would have been super successful.   As it turns out I instead feel like the entire day was wasted and now I am yet ANOTHER day behind on my work. 

My friend Susan recently told me that she gets up every morning at 5:30 to take a walk before her family gets up.   My initial thought was “CRAZY”…but I was also a little jealous. Morning is my favorite time of day and it sounds lovely to be outside, alone in it.   Bottom line - I have to make the time for me or I will get dragged through every single day. 

Wish me luck.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

3 Month Photos


I am obsessed with pictures – which is sort of funny given that I am a terrible photographer.    I would actually cover the walls of my home  with pictures of people I love  (Kardashian style) if I could.   So needless to say I am appreciative of the gift of a good photographer who can always seem to get the right shot. 

My Tessie is the sweetest, most content and happy baby girl.    Steve and I can just stare and stare and stare at her, marveling at how sweet she is.   We love the expressions and the bright eyes and the crazy crazy hair.  Try as I might, I have not been successful in capturing her on film.   With her 3 month photos on the horizon I knew I had nothing to worry about, because Peggy (the official photographer of Tessie) could do it.   My focus has been on the picture and that sweet face. 

Until we scheduled the date for the photos.   It was then that I realized I had no idea what I wanted her to wear.  Suddenly I was  in super speed mode scouring Pinterest and Etsy for inspiration and ideas.  Just like that I immediately stuck to the idea of an enormous fluffy tutu and headband.   Great!  With only 2 days until the shoot I didn’t have time to order one so I put “buy tutu” on my list of things to do on Monday.  

Right. Mondays over here are not normal.    Planning doesn’t work, problems seem to jump out of the woodwork and the frustration level seems to increase every hour.  We turn from thoughtful and planful business owners to firefighters.   So me leaving during the day to buy a tutu seemed, well, insane.   I called every baby consignment store I could find  asking if they had one in stock.  After about the 6th call  Once upon a Child  in Shakopee had what I needed.   They even offered to put it on hold!   YEAH!

After dinner Tessie and I jumped in the car and headed out there.   Yes, they did have a tutu but it was the saddest thing I had ever seen. Only one layer of tulle over satin?  That isn’t a tutu!!   We bought it, and then headed straight to JoAnn Fabrics to see how we could fix it.   Yes.  3 yards of fuscia tulle should do the trick.   I don’t sew  (much to my Mother’s dismay) but I do watch Project Runway.   So I knew that a little fabric glue, some wide ribbon and a few safety pins would get it done.    By 9:30pm we finally got home. 

Exhausted and frustrated husband.   Starving me.  Overtired baby.   Crying baby.  Screaming baby.  Sleeping baby.    We cycled through all of that, and then I poured myself a drink, turned on Bachelor Pad and got started.  It was after 10pm. My bedtime.  So I just started cutting and placing tulle  (while explaining Bachelor Pad to Steve) until I transformed the sad little skirt to this.  Not bad, right?   I went to bed quite pleased with myself. 

tutu before tulle

The photo shoot the next day was grueling. 

Although she had only been up for 45 minutes or so, and had a full tummy, my sweet baby wasn’t interested in lying there all content and happy for Peggy to photograph.   She only wanted to sleep.  But she wouldn’t sleep.  So she just sort of scowled at us the whole time.   She found her time in the tutu to be particularly distasteful.  Peggy got a great picture of her holding up the tutu and scowling at the same time, but that wasn’t exactly the shot I had been dreaming about.  (even though I’m sure I’ll love it)  Finally we gave in, took the crazy tutu off, wrapped her in the blanket so she wouldn’t be cold, and then we were rewarded with the sweetest smiles ever.  I imagine she was just happy to have it off.   Stinker. 

We changed her and tried some more.   I have never had to try so hard to get a smile from her!  Desperate times call for desperate measures.  I actually discovered that if I sounded really excited while speaking Spanish to her she thought it was funny.  (“Donde esta el guacamole?” Hola Baby!  Como estas?  Como estas?  Comos estas?  Que bonita baby! Quieres guacamole”  was said over and over.)  So the bottom line is that we powered through it.  You know when you’re watching America’s Next Top Model and Tyra says “We got this picture but when we went through your film there wasn’t a lot to choose from?”   That is what we felt like previewing the pictures before I left.   We totally got great pictures of her but we worked for them.   I’m super excited to see the finished product and will share when we get them!

Have a great day!


PS:  After reading this I see that I made reference to three different reality TV shows in this post.  Welcome to my life. 

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Sunday, August 19, 2012

Week Highlights

What a Week!!   

  • Grandma Kathy has taken on her project of  planting our gardens with a vengeance.   She has been here almost every day this week working for hours on end.   There will be a lot of upkeep going forward, and this does stress out Steve a bit, but I am thrilled.   Besides, next summer when Tessie is toddling around the backyard playing, I will probably like weeding the garden.  Well, maybe.  garden        
  • I went through all of Tessie's clothes again.  It's just one of the many cycles of having a baby, right?    What doesn't fit?  What fits now?  What might fit soon?   Rearrange the dresser.    My baby is so tall that we are writing off one piece outfits for good.  So I gathered another stack of clothing to return - and then went to Carters and bought an 8 piece cool weather wardrobe for $39.   
  • Tessie is totally grabbing for things and finally really enjoying the activity gym and all its fun toys.   She talks to herself in the mirror and grabs at everything!   play mat 8-16 activity mat 8-16
  • She is still sleeping so great.  I never take it for granted so it is always a highlight.   She wakes up all smiles and joy.  Steve gets her every morning and changes her before bringing her to me.  Tessie sleeping 8-16
  • We had a day with miss Mikayla on Tuesday .....   always so much fun to play with a cousin!   
  • Karen and Allie came over on Wednesday and we walked to Noodles for lunch.  It was the first time we just used the stroller without the car seat and it worked great.   Of course we had work interrupt us about 10 times, so it was awesome to have Karen there to grab Tessie as needed.   We don't see each other enough!
  • Yesterday afternoon she was in the office and just smiled and talked to Steve for the longest time.   He couldn't tear himself away and it was a highlight of his day.
  • She tracks Steve's movements through the room.  I am chopped liver when he shows up.   If she even hears his voice she will stop nursing to locate him.   She will smile at the phone when I put him on speaker.  
  • We are experimenting with tummy time but we are not committed to doing it every day yet.   Some days when she is lying my chest she lifts her head up to look at me.                                                                                                  tummy time tongue 8-17
  • She is straining her neck to try and pull herself in to a sitting position.  If she is sitting in a chair or propped on a pillow she is trying to use her little neck to propel her into a new position.   I feel that tummy time shouldn't be an issue given this.
  • She sits in the highchair and watches me make dinner.   I feel like I am performing my own cooking show as I narrate everything I’m doing with an occasional cheesy grin to my audience.  She seems interested.   
  • Tessie is teething.   She drools non stop.   She BITES when she gets a finger.   She could care less about any toy that is a teething toy – but loves to chew on blankets, tags, her hands, and me.
  • I have used the pressure cooker 4 times this week.  I am in love.
  • I am officially obsessed with Pinterest.  
  • Thinking about planning the baptism.  Of course I've started by searching for baptismal gowns.   On Pinterest.   
  • I am working on getting her 3 month portraits scheduled.   What to wear, what to wear??   What poses do I want?   Must check Pinterest.  
  • Jolene's volunteer position as Tessie's best friend is starting in 2 weeks.  To say that I am excited is an understatement.   One day a week outside of the office to really focus on internet marketing and blogging for business is exactly what I need!

What else?  Tessie has spent time in her swing in the office with me, and hanging out on the patio watching Steve wash the truck!

 tessie in swing 8-15tessie in outside couch

So here it is Sunday morning.  My amazing sleeper has been down for almost 3 hours.   I'm blogging, drinking coffee and about to start some chores.   Steve is at the Market, and later today we're doing our fun stepping stone project.   Then Monday comes and it all starts all over again!

A Free Saturday... (almost)

Today was crazy.  

Steve had a day off  (well, only one appt) so we finally had ourselves a Saturday.     Tessie woke up to eat just after 6am  like normal and after I fed her I laid her in bed between us so we could enjoy some family snuggle time.   Then Steve fell asleep.  Then Tessie did.  Then I did.   An hour later Tessie woke me  up.   She is the sweetest.   She was looking right at me and just making little cooing noises.   As soon as I opened my eyes I as rewarded with a huge smile.  Love that little girl! 

Snuggle time with Daddy
We went downstairs and I started making breakfast   (egg bake and blueberry muffins).    She started fussing and Steve heard her and rushed down to be with her.   They talked and visited and snuggled on the couch until it was time for us to eat.  

In her stroller at the Market. 
After breakfast we checked the work phone and got the message that Adam was sick – and needed to be relieved from working the Market.  Since Steve had a lead, it was up to me and Tessie.   So much for a quiet morning at home!   Tessie and I worked the market from 10:30-1:30.   While there were too many strange noises (the saxophone player, the ambulance racing by and the wrecker vehicle honking like always) for her to sleep, she did finally enjoy a long nap in her stroller in the fresh air.  Of course,  our farmers market friends were all excited to see us. 

We all went to lunch at Boston Market and then came home for a late lunch.   And then after Tessie’s nap we went on a walk around Lake Nokomis.  We have not walked around a lake in 2 summers, and here it is the 18th of August already.   Can you believe it??    For me there is nothing more relaxing than staring at water and feeling the breeze on my face.   And yet, I haven't made it a priority to make it happen.   So during our walk of course my favorite time was just sitting on the bench with Steve admiring our sleeping baby and enjoying the view of the lake.     It's almost embarrassing to admit that I have craved relaxation for so long now, and the perfect lake is incredibly close and easy to get to.    Tessie and I could just go there whenever we want.   Maybe next summer we’ll go every week to splash around at the beach.   

After the lake  Steve made us an awesome dinner, we put the baby to bed and watched a movie.   All in all a wonderful day .  Even though we still had a little work mixed in, it still felt like a day off.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

That month of blurriness

originally written 7-16-12

I am one of those people who continues  to keep a  hand written calendar.   I am so old fashioned, right?   I just like the act of putting pen to paper and actually holding my plans in my hands.    I think its fun to look back at what was in there.   I also enjoy the process of buying new pages for my planner and starting fresh when the time calls for it. 

Like today.

Unfortunately I can’t actually get started because I am dumbfounded at what was going on with me just 9 months ago.   Last October started with this:
  • ·         Working outside the home 15+ hours a week at a contract recruiting job
  • ·         Announcing to our families that we were pregnant
  • ·         Making final repairs and preparations for my home to be rented
  • ·         Fielding almost daily drop in visits and phone calls from the renters who insisted on moving in before their lease started; amidst the tools and final projects we were in the midst of finishing..
  • ·         Announcing to our families that we were getting married
  • ·         Planning our wedding day in 5 weeks.    Can you believe we had 200 guests??
  • ·         Continuing to work the last month of the Farmers Market
  • ·         Working (2) additional home show weekends
  • ·         Keeping the business running…  with sales that topped the previous October.  (Notice how the first priority ended up last on the list?)


Were we insane?   I have ½ days outside the home scheduled with registering for the wedding and obtaining building permits all in one.   I was officially changing my address while prepping for year end bookkeeping and shopping for a wedding dress.  I was frantically researching wedding decorations and  planning ceremony details while managing our internet marketing plan and trying to remember birthday gifts for my nephews.  (did I?).   At one point I had a list of 200 wedding tasks that needed to be completed.    All this while in my first trimester of pregnancy and completely worthless  after 6pm each day.     Every single day that month was a scheduled blur of priorities.   

And it was.  

God Bless my sisters who stepped in and helped do everything they could to take the burden off of me; to listen to my mania; and to make sure that no matter what, I still felt like a pampered bride.   

Uff-da.  That about sums it up. 

Random thoughts..

1Originally written on 7-15-12

     Dear Tessie,

  •        I am fully planning to find a trike for you and then to have it sand blasted and painted hot pink.   I don’t know for sure that your dad is on board with this, but I think you will need a pink trike.
  •        At 11 weeks you know that all you need to do is smile at your Daddy and he gives you what you want.   At nap time if you’re fussy and he runs up to soothe you and pop your Nuk back in you smile very sweetly at him and he picks you up.  Before I know it you’re back in the office with us!
  •       Your Dad loves to say crazy things about you.  Like:
    •         When your fingernails are dirty he says you’ve been out in the garden.
    •          When I ask him where you are (he always puts you somewhere different) he’ll say “she is riding her bike”  or “she is organizing the garage” or “she is fixing the printer”.
    •        When you are making noises in your crib he asks me if you’re eating a sandwich.
  •           I like a bow in your hair.   The other day before your nap you actually reached up and dragged it out of your hair.. and then smiled at me.  I’m not sure if you’re just pleased with yourself for actually getting it out… or if you’re anti-bow.  Hmmm….

11 weeks

Originally written July 14, 2012

Sweet  sweet Tessie..  You are 11 weeks old already.    At your 9 week appointment you had already grown 4 inches   which explains why your feet are busting out of your pjs.  You weighed 11 pounds 12 oz.  I like this because of course your Dad and I got married on Novenber 12, and I think its fun when the numbers are the same.    

You got 4 shots and you didn’t really cry until the 3rd one so I feel like you are a tough girl.  I already knew you aren’t much of a complainer.    As the Dr was checking you out and telling me how perfect and healthy you are you lifted up your head and showed off how strong your neck is.   She was very impressed with you, as your Dad and I always are too!

Of course your Dad and I both think you are the smartest baby ever.   You are so alert and focused when you are awake.  You pay attention to everything around you.   Yesterday you were playing with your giraffe and you seem better than ever at controlling your arms and hands.  You pet him and reach for him and hang on to him.   Girard is definitely your buddy!    You also seem to do a pretty good job sleeping with your arm up by your head so if your nuk falls out you can push it back in.  A few weeks ago you actually got it back in, but it was backwards so you could only suck on the handle.  You were pretty mad, but I was super impressed with you.

Last night when your Dad came home you caught his eye right away and gave him the biggest smile ever.   We loved that!   You smile and chatter at us all the time.  The other day you were so happy and so chatty that it almost sounded like you were trying to laugh!

I know I probably already told you this… but you really are the best baby.   We can put you down for your nap when you’re still awake and you don’t protest.   At night you barely even seem to care if you ever have your Nuk.   You are on a good schedule, you sleep so good at night, and you tolerate us dragging you into the office every day.

Some things about you:
  • ·         You hate lying down flat unless its time for bed.  You want to be up where you can see what is going on.  You definitely don’t want to miss anything.   We have started propping you up in the corner of the couch and this seems to be perfect.
  • ·         You stare at the ceiling fan so much that when its off and we notice you continue to glance its direction, we feel we need to turn it on for you.
  • ·         You are sleeping through the night!!   You sleep for 6-8 hour stretches each night starting at 10 or 10:30 and its wonderful!    You’ve always been “all business” at night, so when I feed and change you I’m usually back in bed in 20 minutes.   You are the best baby!
  • ·         You are starting to enjoy bathtime; but you still scream bloody murder when we are drying you off and getting you dressed so we don’t like bathtime just yet.

Mom and Dad

So many visitors!!

Originally written 7-13

Dear Tessie, 

This week you’ve had lots of visitors.

Grandma Katie is working on a big project at work so she has to work in Minneapolis at least once a week.  This is perfect because it means she can zoom in to our house on the way home and talk and visit with you for an hour or so..   This last week she said she wants to see you all the time because she is afraid that before she knows it you’ll be a big girl and she will have missed the whole baby time.   I feel the same way and I see you every day!!

Auntie Em gets her haircut right by our house so she surprised us with a 15 minute visit before her appointment this week.   You are so happy to see her that you smiled really big and talked to her the whole time she was here.  It made it really hard for her to put you down and she was almost late. 

The paparazzi came over on Thursday afternoon for a few hours.   The paparazzi is what I call  Grandma Kathy, Great Grandma Lorraine and Great Auntie Pat.   Pat says she is an addict and she needs her Tessie Fix.  Grandma Lorraine just moved into a new apartment and it is still a little weird for her there.  She loves to get out and visit with you to take a break .  This week she wanted a picture to take back with her so she could brag to her new neighbors about how cute you are.  

Of course Grandma Kathy is your biggest fan.   She has her camera out before she gets into the house and she takes so many pictures of you!!    After she leaves she gets them printed and then she shows everyone at work and I think maybe everyone she sees.    (She did mention that even the man at the gas station where she gets her newspaper every Sunday has started calling her Grandma!).   She loves this, of course, because when you love your granddaughter as much as she loves you the best thing in the world to be called is Grandma!

The paparazzi usually comes every one or two weeks for the afternoon.  Not only do they take lots of pictures, but they hold you and love you up every second.   Then they tell you how smart you are, how pretty you are, what a nice girl you are, and how successful you are going to be.   They exclaim with delight over everything you do; even if it’s just you turn your head to watch them walk across the room.  I love it when they come over.  I think every little girl should have people who love her tell her how great she is every second.   It is like your own cheering squad.  It has to be good for your self esteem!  

Since they are clearly not here to see me, I usually run to the office to get some work done while they gush at you.    A few weeks ago I went to get a pedicure and this week your Dad and I ran out to get lunch together, talk about an upcoming meeting and run an errand.  

I know how much they like pictures so I need to remember to print some that I take to send to them, too.   It’s always fun to get a surprise in the mail right?


This is serious...

Originally written 6-17-12

This baby thing really is an awesome responsibility.   I find myself looking at the whole world differently.   The TV is too loud.   I cannot allow her to watch half the crap that is on TV.   I just finished off the bag of chips before dinner but I hands are greasy..  I can’t let her eat that!    I even looked at bacon with horror the other day thinking that I can’t even believe I eat it, (but its soo good!)

I  have never been a health nut .  I am not a vegan or vegetarian or organic  food only sort of person.   I am not a “no sugar before you’re 5” type of person.    I just look a this precious baby and think.  I created you.  You are growing and are healthy with only my breast milk.   You are perfect right now, and I cannot ruin you with food.      Very young kids who know their favorite meal at multiple fast food places scare me.    Kids who are overweight because of poor nutrition make me sad.    I want the best for my  Tessie.     

I decided while I was pregnant that I would make her baby food.   Mostly because  I wanted to keep controlling what she eats (control freak) and partially because the challenge of it sounds good.   As part of my research I read this blog….  Which really inspired me and cemented my decision.     The author says that she wants her baby to think it is totally normal to eat lots of different fruits and vegetables every day.   She wants her baby to experience the texture of real  food and the true flavor.   I like it. 

We are at the farmers market every weekend anyway.   We have the best blender known to man.  And we both want to make sure that the best gift we ever got stays as healthy as can be.  We will teach her from the beginning that the best food is actually GOOD food.   The best dessert really is fruit and variety  is the spice of life.   

Hopefully her father and I won’t be total hypocrites and keep eating the same crap we have been while teaching her good eating habits.  Hopefully.    We'll see how it goes.  Intent is everything, right?

Good Cop Bad Cop

Blog  6-15

 It has begun.   

Anyone who knows Steve and I knows that I will always be the bad cop in disciplining Tessie and he will always be the good cop.   He is just much more fun and thousands of times more patient.  

Tessie and I have been struggling with afternoon nap time.  She  sleeps like a champ all night and for her morning nap, and then just fusses and catnaps all afternoon.   She would sleep fine in her swing, but I need her to sleep n her crib.   I need her to learn to fall asleep on her own in her crib.   So we power struggle all afternoon.   Sure, she cries, but it isn’t the torture cry so I can deal with it for awhile before running up and popping her nuk back in and rubbing her head and wishing her sweet dreams.     

Yesterday we were in the office when the fussing started.    I was working on a quote so Steve jumped up.  Not 30 seconds later I hear cartoon Steve on the monitor.   He was talking to her and being all animated and changing her diaper and then…. You guessed it…. Brought her down to the office with him.  “Her eyes were wide open!” he said.   Right, because she wasn’t asleep.    So there she was with us in the office but she didn't want to play, either.   She was still tired.  So back upstairs she went (with daddy this time) and she fell asleep.   In the swing. 

I know he was happy to see her and I’m sure she smiled at him when he got to her crib but it will not take her long to figure out that a big smile to her daddy will get her just about anything she wants.  

A Day of Firsts...

originally written on 6-24-12

Yesterday was a big day for Tessie!!

  1. She met her cousins Lena and Elisa for the first time  (and Jackie & Armando too!)
  2. For the first time she enjoyed her bath.  (read…..  no screaming and the successful implementation of bath process improvement).   She even smiled during it.  Once.   And maybe only because she wanted to say HI to Steve.
  3. She slept through the night!!    She ate at 12:45 and then not again until 6:45!!    After a quick bite to eat she is napping and  I am well rested enough to be enjoying my morning coffee outside with no noise but the birds, no distractions, and no chores. Heaven!!


Originally written 6-16-12

Panic set in with me yesterday.   Tessie is 7 weeks old and I already feel like my baby is getting so big.  Where has the time gone??   She is too big for the cradle so there it sits in our room..  empty.    I got all nostalgic last night remembering putting my  little newborn all swaddled up in there to sleep close to us.   

Now, its 90 degrees in the house so I put her to bed barely dressed at all and she sleeps all spread out in the crib.   She isn’t far  (16 steps, I counted) but she seems  SO far away.   And since she is a little farther away her cries are muffled.  I don't like that she has to cry for me.  I liked hearing her wake up.   Steve actually got to her first this morning and he was downstairs!!

Back to the panic.   Have I enjoyed her enough?   Am I interacting with her enough?    Did I snuggle with my peanut enough?  Do we have enough pictures?    Are we teaching her to sleep?   Do we have enough momentos from her teeny tiny newborn stage?    Now that I have a 7 week old I practically have a 2 month old and I don’t even think that counts as newborn anymore.    How did that haze of feed the baby, burp the baby, change the baby, feed the baby some more, play with the baby, put the baby to bed , try and get some work done, repeat..   actually extend for 7 whole weeks?      I am told this will not go away.   I am told that this panic is with me for life and will only intensify as she goes out into the world.      Crap.

6 weeks!!

Originally written on June 12-2012

We’ve been married for 7 months and our baby girl is  6 weeks old tomorrow.   I don’t want her ever to get any older but I still think about what life will be like when she is big enough to fit in the 5 million outfits she has that are 0-3 month sizes =- but somehow still enormous for her.    What will life be like when she eats finger food and sits in a high chair.   What will life be like when she can MOVE?  Or TALK???   Crazy.   It is fun to fantasize about but I don’t ever want it to get here.  I want her to stay small and perfect and adorable for a very long time.

Her smiles are like crack.  And I am a total addict.  It isn’t enough that I get a huge smile first thing in the morning.  I want ten.  Or twenty.   And I want that cute little smirk she has that is off to the side.   She talks constantly.   She has spoken to a picture of her cousin Dane, the fan in the bedroom, her stuffed giraffe,  and us, of course, the two of us.    I was doing that thing today when I was trying to work by holding her in one hand and typing with the other hand.  She was doing that thing where she looks like she is sleeping but she is actually wide awake when you lay her down.   Suddenly she was talking.   As if she woke up, discovered where she was and couldn’t imagine her good fortune to be so close to me and immediately wanted to chat.   I love that.

Sleep is awesome.  But somehow every night is different.   As Angie said “it is always a guessing game!”  She pretty consistently gets up once between 2 and 3, and then again at  5 or 6.   I feel like I am only up once in the dead of night, and I am getting 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night.     I don’t even feel tired all day anymore     Tessie has had a few nights of really long spells between eating On those occasions I would have gotten more sleep if I had gone to sleep with her at 7 or 8 or 9.   As it were, I went to bed at my regular time and got 3 or 4 hours of sleep, which was fine too.  Last night I was all excited because she ate at 10:30 and I was sure I’d get a 5 hour chunk of sleep.  Instead, she was up at  2 and 4 and  5 and 6 and 9.  Of course this got me off to a late and slow start which made my whole day crazy.    I told Steve about it when we woke up and he just said  “That rascal!”  Hilarious.  

During the day Tessie eats ever 3 hours.  Like clockwork.   She is consistent and predictable and I love it.  At night -- like I said - she can go 4-7 hours without eating.  No matter what, she goes to sleep immediately after eating in the middle of the night, or she puts herself to sleep so I don’t need to go through any big fiasco to put her down.   This means I am usually up 15-20 minutes tops when I get up.   We get up, eat, change, eat some more and then zonk out.  We are all business in the night; barely even looking at each other.

During the day she isn't such a good napper.    I feel like I need to do a better job at  putting her down while she is a awake and letting her fall asleep on her own.   Especially because I know she can do it - but during the day she cries and I am not good with the crying.   If she cries I will go to her and hold her.  If I hold her all day instead of working fine, I can't take the crying.

Tessie's Rules on Sleeping

originally written 6-4

I know this much is true…

Sometimes she just wants to be put down.  She prefers to lie  flat when she is sleeping.and she is almost annoyed if it is time to sleep and we are still holding her. 

When it is hot she doesn’t want t to sleep on a warm surface.  It might even be better to straight up strip her down and put her under the fan.   When Mikayla was a baby she hated to be hot so somehow Emily discovered if we just kept her head wet to cool her down she was much happier.   We just may need to give this a go.  It is the hottest summer ever.  

Babies Bring Joy

originally written 6-1-12

Babies  bring joy.  It is the greatest.  I feel responsible for bringing so much happiness to Steve’s family.   Grandma Kathy comes over every week, gifts in hand, camera snapping away , grinning from ear to ear.   She is so thrilled to tell us about how she has been sharing pictures with everyone at work (*sometimes more than once).   Her friends want to come see the baby too.     I don’t even have all the birth announcements mailed yet and she already brought hers in to be custom mounted and framed!    She has pictures of the nursery, her first diaper change, and tons with Steve and Tessie.   The first time I left Tessie  it was with Grandma Kathy so I could buy groceries for the birthday party.   They spent an hour alone together and I think all three of us loved it.

Great Auntie Pat came over yesterday.   She was already oohing and aahing from the front step.   She could not wait to get her hands on the baby.  She kept saying how different she looked than when she was 4 hours old.  I loved hearing the pride in her voice as she talked about meeting Tessie at just 4 hours old.    Tessie stared at her like crazy and even talked to her a bit.   It was almost as if she knew how much it meant to Pat to do that.  

Great Grandma Lorraine was so happy to see her yesterday too.     Tessie gave her a good stare and almost smiled at her,  but at 4 weeks its just too soon to expect that.  That family is just so happy every second they are with Tessie I can’t even be overwhelmed when they come over.   I’m just glad to have played my part in bringing this bit joy into their lives.

Four Weeks Already?

originally written 5-29-2012

4 weeks tomorrow!  I can hardly believe it.   Yesterday was the party for Steve, Bryan, Izzy and John and we hosted.  The weather was perfect, the kids ran and played and got dirtier than ever (think chips, melted chocolate ice cream and juicy juicy watermelon), and Tessie got passed around so everyone could hold her.  She didn’t make a peep, when she was awake she looked around calmly as could be and when it was time for her first bottle  (from Auntie Katie)  she didn’t hesitate and she eagerly drank it until it was gone.

Her next bottles were goofy because I’m not really exactly how much she drinks when she is nursing.   Since I had enjoyed margaritas at the picnic I wasn’t about to nurse her.    After she drained the first 2 ounces we waited about 20 minutes then gave her more.   So..  all in all I’d say she had her last bottle 9 :30ish.   At 4am I woke up startled that she was still sleeping and ran in to her room to check on her.  Yup.  Still breathing.   Then I woke her up to feed her.   It seems crazy to wake her up in the middle of the night, but she just seems tooo little to go that long without eating!!    The she only ate for 7 minutes  falling asleep again.   It was like a courtesy eating. So it was weird.  BUT..   I know she doesn’t have an eating disorder.  When she is hungry she wakes and she nurses.   She is healthy.  She is growing.  She has 2 chins and her diapers are getting tight on her thighs.    I just need to keep watching her to be sure she is eating.   I know now that most of the time she will sleep at least 4 hours when she first goes down, and then will eat exactly 3 hours after that, and after that.

She really is the best baby.   I love how still and content she is after she eats.   Sometimes she squirms and fights and turns her head so much when I am holding her  that I just have to put her down.   She is a girl who likes her space.  Even after a nap I will go look at her and see that she is wide awake and calm.   Like she is enjoying the silence or something.   Like me.

In the last few days it is apparent to me that she while she is calm and staring at our faces she will smile socially.    She will coo  and she will even stick out her tongue at us when we do it to her.   It’s the cutest and a huge thrill.   Yes, it seems mean to be sticking out your tongue at the baby but it feels like we’re talking and I love it.  Steve and I had the best time on Saturday night sticking out sour tongue out at her.  Then on Sunday morning when she woke up  she smiled at me and then stuck her tongue right out… as if to say “remember Mom??”    Yes baby.  I remember. 

She has gotten really good at running errands with me.   We have been to the grocery store a few times, the mall of America twice, Marshalls, and she even came with Izzy and Grandma Katie and I when we went to a restaurant for dinner after shopping.   Such a good girl!

This week I need to be better at snapping into action in the morning.  I feel like I need to get at least 3 hours of work done each day.  I think it would help if I could sit down with Steve and plan what needs to happen each day so I can feel a  little in control about what is happening- and so I can make sure to be focusing on  the right things at the right times.   The fact is, somedays I just can’t stop looking at her long enough to actually get anything done.